☀️ It's my birthday month ☀️
And I’m feeling like this —
^^^this album had more haterz than it needed to but i’m not sorry this is me rn ^^^
Like — if all of the other months went to the same high school July would be THAT girl. She would always smell amazing, always happy to see you, has no worries, aced those AP tests, is going to Princeton in the fall but didn’t really try to get in, amazing things just happen to her. July is delulu in the best of ways.
I mean — just LOOK AT HER!!! A BEAUTY!! PROM QUEEN!!
They’re not out here giving FIVE weekends to just anybody!
Anyways, here are the things that have been occupying my mind the past month.
COCAINE IN THE WHITE HOUSE??? BFFR.
I couldn’t believe this was news, more because it seemed like such an obvious place for that drug to be…like there’s WATER in the ocean???
But also I don’t think we’re talking enough about how Hunter Biden is like our Marie Antoinette…no I will not elaborate.
OLIVIA RODRIGO EATING HER MENTOR TAYLOR — FIGURATIVELY.
This new Olivia Rodrigo song, “vampire” is giving early Taylor Swift if Taylor had lost her virginity before 19. Kidding. But it’s mature, it’s poetic, it’s giving early 2000’s female rage. I need a cigarette and a rooftop party in the Lower East Side. I just can’t stop thinking about how Olivia became relevant from a Cruel Summer cover only to then become the next big thing in pop music and Taylor made her pay her MILLIONS to get credit on Deja Vu. And let’s not get it twisted I will be sat at Eras even though it may possibly be a sundown town.
But I also would KILL to be a fly on the wall at the Grammy’s after party next year.
RYAN MURPHY SUING A WGA CAPTAIN?!
If you’re new here, the WGA (The Writer’s Guild of America) is striking bc all of the rich white men named Bob want to replace us with A.I. so they can shoot off to Mars with as much money as possible in their pockets.
And Ryan Murphy, who wants to continue his AHS empire of CAMP is angry that he can’t continue filming his latest season featuring Kim Kardashian. Like — he’s risking so much for a season of TV that at its best could possibly win him his first Razzie. But it makes me angry and mad and sad that rich writers are acting like this strike isn’t also their fight. It’s giving class solidarity in the worst of ways.
Now SAG is striking with us and instead of being out on the pickets. Celebrities are playing basketball!! Like, read the room Timothee!
Which brings me to —
THE TRAILER “WONKA”
nope, scratch that, reverse it.
There is so much going wrong here. Can someone tell me why he has a Black girl indentured servant as his assistant? QUICKLY.
I will be sat because frankly I need to know that this movie is real and not created by an A.I. generator.
OUR RIGHTS BEING REVOKED?!
At the end of June, the Supreme Court — which is comprised of many old people I hate and two people I like, voted to strip away Affirmative Action and give businesses the right to refuse services on LGBTIA affiliation. Like — more people should be more furious about all of this than they were but maybe it’s because we’ve been living in a hellscape that we all just shrugged like …sure, okay???
IN AND OUT LIST
Last but not least my monthly In & Out list.
IN:
FREE FOOD — Shout out to Drew Carey and Bob’s Big Boys for letting WGA writer’s eat for free!
SUMMER MOVIES — is it just me or is everything a Barbie promotion and film marketing is back. The summer movies are finally summer’ing again.
THREE HOUR HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS — i have a theory that there would be no more wars, no more famine, no more submersibles in the Atlantic if everyone was required to have weekly three hour friend hang outs. I also must shoutout the Jordyn & Kylie reconciliation. friendship is in the air.
THE USHER RESIDENCY IN VEGAS — somebody get me a damn ticket!
STRIKING — everyone in America needs to be on strike like America was founded on people that didn’t wanna pay taxes yet we’re paying taxes. bffr.
OUT:
“GIRL DINNER” — it’s not cute, it’s not classy, it’s not funny.
EMBARRASSING BOYFRIENDS — Keke Palmer, the queen you are. Halle, girl take notes.
IDAHO — not the people that actually live there. Not the potatoes. Just the billionaire transplants and every person at Kristin Bell’s dinner table.
“LEGACY STUDENTS” — so your daddy donated a building? You’re mediocre like the rest of us! Bout time we start treating you like it.
SHAMELESS PLUG!!!
Everyone listen to “Academy”
A podcast I wrote with my friend Anderson Cook. It’s a YA mystery comedy. It’s qUirKY.
Summary:
Academy, a riveting coming-of-age audio drama co-produced by AT WILL MEDIA and Wondery, follows the story of Ava Richards, a scholarship student who transfers to Bishop Gray, one of the most elite and competitive boarding schools in America.
As Ava tries to find her place in this high-pressure environment, she soon crosses paths with an underground society known as The Night of the Wolf, which caters to the school's wealthiest students and enforces strict secrecy. With trust in short supply, Ava must navigate a dangerous and alluring world where friendships will be tested, romances will bloom, and ambitions cut short.
YOU CAN LISTEN TO ALL OF THE EPISODES ON THE AMAZON MUSIC APP or Episode 1 is available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts etc…
xoxo,
birthday chick
That WONKA movie should’ve been scary, a la JOKER